the macro and micro of sexual repression

When debating how the the suppression of women's sexuality came to pass, historians usually agree that it was most likely due to a male dominated society. That's... not such a shock. What is is that, when anthropologists study cultures where female genital mutilation is still practiced or there is a suppression of female sexuality, they find that it is usually the other women of the tribe or culture that enforce the tradition or maintain the suppression of sexuality. Why would women do that to other women?*
The feeling is that, after being a subjugated people, an acceptance and mutual enforcement begin to take place. When you have centuries of viewing either a gender, race or tribe as inferior it becomes that much harder to rise above the standard as individuals because of the psychological effects of said oppression. The self esteem and personal value of that people has been stripped away as each generation that follows, hardens that cultural identity.
It then becomes the identity of that particular group of people, and that, in turn, becomes their story, tale and a personal history. It is at the cornerstone of who they are.**
We are roughly three generations into our own cultural shift with sex . There has always been homosexuality, affairs, pre-marital sex and prostitution but those fringed on the outskirts of the accepted and established view of western sexuality.
The Catholic and Christian Church is a huge cultural identity for most of us who live in the western world (whether raised in the church or not it still permeates our culture in the form of blue laws, laws against prostitution, zoning laws against sex businesses, consensual sex crimes, abstinence only sex education and or course Prop 8); and there are many people (quite a few of whom hold office) who are asserting control, judgement and opinion to keep the shift from happening. That would be the macrocosm of sexual oppression.
Of course the times they are a changing and we now have a black president elect (who happens to be a Christian; Oh wait a minute; weren't all our presidents Christian? Why yes, all but Kennedy...who was a devout Catholic) The merging of spirituality into society as a means to keep intact one's faith while releasing the dogma is also influencing the new way in which we see the world, each other and sex.
So here is where I try to make amends with the microcosm of sexual intolerance. My own judgements about sex. I was raised Catholic and still have times where masturbation seems dirty. I still have my internal wince that happens when I hear about teenagers who have had many sexual partners or when I hear about people who cheat on their partners or people who are having an affair with someone in a relationship.
There is an inner judge within me who gets to sit on her lofty high horse and look down upon people she feels are morally inferior. That particular brand of moral opinion is, what I feel, left over from years of not being honest and willing to destroy my concept of "how it should be". I don't know what should be. I know what feels good in my moral, emotional and physical body and that is what forms my sexual preference but I came to prefer this because of years of trial and error. So who are we to try and control the way people, consensually, finesse their sexual path?
I have a friend who becomes outraged at the way men in our community go through women. She gets angry at the men and then insists that the women reject their advances and have more self respect; but isn't her anger just her own story coming out to try and control a group of consensual adults? Is she really looking out for the best interests of the women, or trying to avoid seeing something that mirrors a hurt from her past?
I have men in my life who are sexually "free" and seemingly totally cool with the idea of open relationships or "hooking up" with out attachments. Men who then astonish me in the way they talk about guys who are more prolific in their affairs, or when they see women who they feel rejected by or how the double standard comes up when a woman that they were physical with shows the same eagerness to keep it loose and move onto the next guy. It is a quick means to defend their sexual ego. What did she do that they themselves were not doing? Is it of importance that other people know which man or woman is getting it on more than he is? Why does any of that matter?
Judge, make them separate. If I can judge you then I am of enough height above you as to point my finger and, in my own way, subjectify you to an action.
The contempt we feel in regards to our society's attitudes and ignorance towards sex, sex education and sexuality might just be a reflection of our own inability to come to terms with sexuality and sexual behavior in others. I still have my egoic view of what's "good" and bad". But I have added another voice that says "who cares?"

Here's to living with abandon, loving without fear, witnessing without the labels and creating a shift in consciousness that allows the world more acceptance, freedom and equanimity.




* It may be true that men in cultures face a similar societal suppression, but due to relevance I chose the example of women's sexual suppression.

**Of course there are exceptions like the woman's suffrage movement and the civil rights movements of America.