He breathtakingly describes the sacred sexual dance. Thank you Mark!
Mark Henson's Temple Erotica
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Check out the beautiful work by Mark Henson:
quotes
"But seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already."
-Waiter Rant
"Through the body we are seeing something of the soul and therefore the mystery of life itself. The compulsive aspect of sexual gazing betrays the fact that our looking is not deep enough. When we honor a holy icon we know we're in the presence of the numinous. But in our secular society we have lost an explicit awareness of the sanctity of sex. We think of it in purely human terms, as far from religion as possible and therefore our looking is not right. Our sexual gaze is full of numinosity, but we have no language or artful ritual for this kind of veneration"
-Thomas Moore, 'Soul of Sex'
"If our elaborate and dominating bodies are given us to be denied at every turn, if our nature is always wrong and wicked, how ineffectual we are - like fishes not meant to swim."
-Cyril Connolly
-Waiter Rant
"Through the body we are seeing something of the soul and therefore the mystery of life itself. The compulsive aspect of sexual gazing betrays the fact that our looking is not deep enough. When we honor a holy icon we know we're in the presence of the numinous. But in our secular society we have lost an explicit awareness of the sanctity of sex. We think of it in purely human terms, as far from religion as possible and therefore our looking is not right. Our sexual gaze is full of numinosity, but we have no language or artful ritual for this kind of veneration"
-Thomas Moore, 'Soul of Sex'
"If our elaborate and dominating bodies are given us to be denied at every turn, if our nature is always wrong and wicked, how ineffectual we are - like fishes not meant to swim."
-Cyril Connolly
over and underwhelmed
I have been absent from the blogging world for awhile. Lack of desire has not been the reason, just a lack of afflatus. I have been dosing my brain with scientific and historical information in regards to sexuality and I burned out. I forget that this routinely happens. It isn't so much that the subject gets too repetitive, but rather the view taken rarely differs. Frustration at the fact that most books fail to mention that we have a vital essence that is far more complex and elegant than the over prized mind and psychology of humans.
I remember when reading the book 'Sex, Time and Power' I went through a similar state of irritation. I had begun my winter book series that explored why humans were conditioned to mate for life, why we are connected to our kin, why women have so many orgasms and how gender issues came to be. It isn't that those topics aren't of interest or can't help us understand our past and present circumstances; It was that nowhere did they mention the fact that we are also the only species that have looked for God and ponder our own death and have strippers and porn stars and chaste monks.
I feel that I have been writing a bunch of stuff that, while valid, doesn't capture the full spectrum of sexuality. And what's more is that I have been reading books that don't inspire me to look through that particular scope to then feel compelled to scribe from that view. It is my desire to blog solely on the subject of sex and sexuality and have as many fingers in the pot, so to speak. It is with that desire that I have picked up one of my favored books, 'Soul of Sex' by Thomas Moore.
Upon reading the first few pages I felt like I had broken through some sort of readers block. I was back on track. Do you know what I mean when I describe the static felt? Do you feel something similar when it dawns on you that people still eat at McDonald's, or fill evangelical churches or litter? It's like something in us is still sleeping and you just want that spiritual and evolutionary alarm clock to snap them out of a coma.
But I digress.
The purpose is not to discuss WalMart shoppers and Billy Graham, it is to discuss sex and how I can do that with more authenticity. So that is what I have added to the site. Quotes and links to images that I find bring me an internal certainty or comfort that there is more to this sacred act than making a baby, having an orgasm, defining roles or garnering power.
I remember when reading the book 'Sex, Time and Power' I went through a similar state of irritation. I had begun my winter book series that explored why humans were conditioned to mate for life, why we are connected to our kin, why women have so many orgasms and how gender issues came to be. It isn't that those topics aren't of interest or can't help us understand our past and present circumstances; It was that nowhere did they mention the fact that we are also the only species that have looked for God and ponder our own death and have strippers and porn stars and chaste monks.
I feel that I have been writing a bunch of stuff that, while valid, doesn't capture the full spectrum of sexuality. And what's more is that I have been reading books that don't inspire me to look through that particular scope to then feel compelled to scribe from that view. It is my desire to blog solely on the subject of sex and sexuality and have as many fingers in the pot, so to speak. It is with that desire that I have picked up one of my favored books, 'Soul of Sex' by Thomas Moore.
Upon reading the first few pages I felt like I had broken through some sort of readers block. I was back on track. Do you know what I mean when I describe the static felt? Do you feel something similar when it dawns on you that people still eat at McDonald's, or fill evangelical churches or litter? It's like something in us is still sleeping and you just want that spiritual and evolutionary alarm clock to snap them out of a coma.
But I digress.
The purpose is not to discuss WalMart shoppers and Billy Graham, it is to discuss sex and how I can do that with more authenticity. So that is what I have added to the site. Quotes and links to images that I find bring me an internal certainty or comfort that there is more to this sacred act than making a baby, having an orgasm, defining roles or garnering power.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
the multi ogasmic female- need we probe any furhter?
Let me preface by saying that this subject may indeed serve some higher good that I am not yet aware of.
And now...
There have been numerous studies on female orgasm, but so far as I know the secret decoder ring has yet to crack this mystery. No one can really explain why we are able to orgasm most frequently by clitoral stimulation, which does not result in insemination, or why it's not as easy or quick for us to achieve orgasm through penile penetration. Evolutionists, biological anthropologists and sexologists have put this fact through the ringer. Some say that clitoral orgasms create muscle spasms that help the seed traverse it's way to the egg. If that's so, why is the most productive way to have a clitoral orgasm during sex with a woman positioned on top of the man, which would use gravity to polarize the effect of said muscle spasm? Some say that because childbirth was the number one killer of women for most of history, we needed incentive and developed a multi orgasmic physiology. Well then why is the clitoris not in the vagina? Why were we not lesbian?
What was natures' big idea?
And since we're asking, what the hell of a use is the funny bone for? What great plan is behind being ticklish? Or that reflex thing my knee does at the doctor's, what's that doing for me? Are these beginnings of an evolutionary leap? Say, like telepathy? Probably not. So why are we so caught up with female orgasm? Finding out why we have it won't cure cancer, or end bad sex.
I suppose, for people who spent a few hundred grand in graduate programs on the subject, it's a big deal. As for me, I'm just happy to have a clitoris, G spot and cervix- in that order.
Take a look at my favorite animal- the bonobo chimp. When the females want to reproduce they approach their male mates by "backing it up" and yelping with a swollen pink vulva. Those dirty bonobos need it. It's a primal urge for life's sustenance. But when they want it- they grind their girlfriends and appear to have an orgasm. Yup it looks like we're not so special anymore; chimps have clitoral orgasms too! You can stop your research.
Evolutionists 1 creationists 0.
Of course understanding why? is very helpful...for some things. Things like orgasms I just tend too be glad I'm having.*
*I normally do take an interest in most things about sex, I just happened to have read all these "intellectual" books on the subject and none of them offer answers. So after reading yet another one this week I just kinda felt like I was being led on with no finish...which, I have come to learn, is not what I was designed to do.
And now...
There have been numerous studies on female orgasm, but so far as I know the secret decoder ring has yet to crack this mystery. No one can really explain why we are able to orgasm most frequently by clitoral stimulation, which does not result in insemination, or why it's not as easy or quick for us to achieve orgasm through penile penetration. Evolutionists, biological anthropologists and sexologists have put this fact through the ringer. Some say that clitoral orgasms create muscle spasms that help the seed traverse it's way to the egg. If that's so, why is the most productive way to have a clitoral orgasm during sex with a woman positioned on top of the man, which would use gravity to polarize the effect of said muscle spasm? Some say that because childbirth was the number one killer of women for most of history, we needed incentive and developed a multi orgasmic physiology. Well then why is the clitoris not in the vagina? Why were we not lesbian?
What was natures' big idea?
And since we're asking, what the hell of a use is the funny bone for? What great plan is behind being ticklish? Or that reflex thing my knee does at the doctor's, what's that doing for me? Are these beginnings of an evolutionary leap? Say, like telepathy? Probably not. So why are we so caught up with female orgasm? Finding out why we have it won't cure cancer, or end bad sex.
I suppose, for people who spent a few hundred grand in graduate programs on the subject, it's a big deal. As for me, I'm just happy to have a clitoris, G spot and cervix- in that order.
Take a look at my favorite animal- the bonobo chimp. When the females want to reproduce they approach their male mates by "backing it up" and yelping with a swollen pink vulva. Those dirty bonobos need it. It's a primal urge for life's sustenance. But when they want it- they grind their girlfriends and appear to have an orgasm. Yup it looks like we're not so special anymore; chimps have clitoral orgasms too! You can stop your research.
Evolutionists 1 creationists 0.
Of course understanding why? is very helpful...for some things. Things like orgasms I just tend too be glad I'm having.*
*I normally do take an interest in most things about sex, I just happened to have read all these "intellectual" books on the subject and none of them offer answers. So after reading yet another one this week I just kinda felt like I was being led on with no finish...which, I have come to learn, is not what I was designed to do.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
'Do it' for world peace
Finally a pro peace demonstration that I can enjoy attending.
www.globalorgasm.org
www.globalorgasm.org
quote of the day
"Sex, a great and mysterious motive force in human life, has indisputably been a subject of absorbing interest to mankind through the ages."
- William J. Brennan, Jr.
- William J. Brennan, Jr.
Did you know? Some sex law trivia to be used as conversation starters at holiday parties everywhere.
I wrote my senior thesis on gay marriage and the rights denied to gay and lesbian couples. This was ten years ago and I think I achieved a D on the paper, as it was too biased to be considered anthropological which maintains a non judgemental examination. I remember handing it in about half an hour after including the mornings news that Clinton had upheld and passed the law against gay marriage that had been handed down from congress. Are you kidding me? The man put a cigar into the vagina of his twenty something intern in the oval office, who is he to pass a law that governs who can get married?
But I digress. Here is the issue I want to raise; we saw this monumental shift in racial equality by electing the first African American family into the white house and then passed proposition 8. Getting angry does me no good but providing information does. Here are a list and brief summaries of laws that were upheld against sex acts and sexuality in America. They are absurd, much like Proposition 8 will seem one day.*
Contraceptives
1943 Tileston v. 1961 Ullman Poe v. Ullman- congrees upholds a law preventing the purchase of any item or medicine that would be used as a CONTRACEPTIVES.
1965 Griswold v. Connecticut, 381 U.S. 479- a law that passed 7-2 in congress that stated that the law against purchasing contraceptives was an invasion of a married couples privacy.
1943 Tileston v. Ullman - The law is now in place that all couples, not just married ones, can purchase contraceptives.
1977 Carey v. Population Services International- Minors under 16 years of age can now legally buy contraceptives.
MARRIAGE AND DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP
1964 McLaughlin v. Florida,- unmarried interracial couples can now live in the same home and share the same room at night.
1967 McLaughlin v. Florida,- It is now unconstitutional to ban interracial marriages.
SEX ACTS
1976 State of Iowa v. Robert Eugene Pilcher- it is now legal to have sexual acts with someone other than one's spouse.
1977 State of New Jersey v. Saunders- it is now legal to have sex before marriage.
1982 Carey v. Population Services International, Federal District Court finds Texas Sodomy Law unconstitutional, however, Court of Appeals overturns it and holds law to be constitutional.
1986 Bowers v. Hardwick- Consensual sex acts between people of same sex can be illegal.
2003 Lawrence v. Texas,A Texas law making sodomy with same-sex partner illegal, but not with opposite sex, is unconstitutional. (This case expressly overturns the above account, Bowers v. Hardwick).
It is important to note that though some of these laws were not enforced they were still laws that could lead to prosecution and in case's like Bowers v Hardwick, they did arrest and prosecute Michael Hardwick for engaging in consensual oral sex with another man.
But I save the best for last.
Oral sex was still illegal between consenting teenagers in Georgia back in the long long ago of 2004. Poor 17 year old Genarlow Wilson got a mandatory 10 year sentence for child molestation after receiving consensual oral sex from a 15 year old girl. Thankfully the Georgia Supreme Court order Wilson's release 3 years later on the grounds that it was cruel and unusual punishment.
So go on with gratitude in your hearts for the people that had to fight for that human luxury of love, sex and the pursuit of equality.
*The whole notion of consensual crimes is ridiculous and nauseating to me. There is a great book that, though huge, is a good read if you ever decide to further educate yourself on this topic. 'Ain't Nobody's Business if You Do: The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in a Free Society' by Peter McWilliams
But I digress. Here is the issue I want to raise; we saw this monumental shift in racial equality by electing the first African American family into the white house and then passed proposition 8. Getting angry does me no good but providing information does. Here are a list and brief summaries of laws that were upheld against sex acts and sexuality in America. They are absurd, much like Proposition 8 will seem one day.*
Contraceptives
1943 Tileston v. 1961 Ullman Poe v. Ullman- congrees upholds a law preventing the purchase of any item or medicine that would be used as a CONTRACEPTIVES.
1965 Griswold v. Connecticut, 381 U.S. 479- a law that passed 7-2 in congress that stated that the law against purchasing contraceptives was an invasion of a married couples privacy.
1943 Tileston v. Ullman - The law is now in place that all couples, not just married ones, can purchase contraceptives.
1977 Carey v. Population Services International- Minors under 16 years of age can now legally buy contraceptives.
MARRIAGE AND DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP
1964 McLaughlin v. Florida,- unmarried interracial couples can now live in the same home and share the same room at night.
1967 McLaughlin v. Florida,- It is now unconstitutional to ban interracial marriages.
SEX ACTS
1976 State of Iowa v. Robert Eugene Pilcher- it is now legal to have sexual acts with someone other than one's spouse.
1977 State of New Jersey v. Saunders- it is now legal to have sex before marriage.
1982 Carey v. Population Services International, Federal District Court finds Texas Sodomy Law unconstitutional, however, Court of Appeals overturns it and holds law to be constitutional.
1986 Bowers v. Hardwick- Consensual sex acts between people of same sex can be illegal.
2003 Lawrence v. Texas,A Texas law making sodomy with same-sex partner illegal, but not with opposite sex, is unconstitutional. (This case expressly overturns the above account, Bowers v. Hardwick).
It is important to note that though some of these laws were not enforced they were still laws that could lead to prosecution and in case's like Bowers v Hardwick, they did arrest and prosecute Michael Hardwick for engaging in consensual oral sex with another man.
But I save the best for last.
Oral sex was still illegal between consenting teenagers in Georgia back in the long long ago of 2004. Poor 17 year old Genarlow Wilson got a mandatory 10 year sentence for child molestation after receiving consensual oral sex from a 15 year old girl. Thankfully the Georgia Supreme Court order Wilson's release 3 years later on the grounds that it was cruel and unusual punishment.
So go on with gratitude in your hearts for the people that had to fight for that human luxury of love, sex and the pursuit of equality.
*The whole notion of consensual crimes is ridiculous and nauseating to me. There is a great book that, though huge, is a good read if you ever decide to further educate yourself on this topic. 'Ain't Nobody's Business if You Do: The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in a Free Society' by Peter McWilliams
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The real housewives of the 1800's
If you read the piece on Athenian housewives then you must know how dreadful being a,literally speaking, kept woman was. Fast forward a thousand plus years and...well it wasn't that much better.
The Victorian age saw the rise of the middle class, the dawn of the industrial revolution and the surge of domestic servants and prostitution. During the 1800's the economic shift that replaced aristocracy with a middle class created a desire to excel in social status. Yup, it's keeping up with the Jones', and if you guys are making the same money and have the same power what can you try to out do the other in? I introduce you to gentility.
This is the time where we see a rush of books on etiquette purchased to be given to all ladies of the home and young girls. A time where the wives were to be unburdened by any form of household work, making domestic service one of the largest employments for women. The idea of educating women may have been on the horizon but it certainly was not common place. Women were still second class citizens and, for the most part, property of her husband; property, however, that was also considered somewhat untouchable. Think china doll. This is the time when women had no clue as to their anatomy, no instruction on sex or sexuality and it was a widely held belief that virtuous women were very seldom capable of full sexual desire. The modesty of a Victorian woman was so highly regarded that only during extreme cases was there to be a gynecological exam, and those were done in the dark.
SO let's see you have a wife with too much time on her hands,no responsibility, no sexual satisfaction and no education. What is a girl to do? Why shopping, gossiping and lallygagging of course (think the Bravo channels' 'real housewives of Orange county' program).
The view on sex at this time had taken another turn. Wives were thought to be intolerant of such an act like coitus and the religious theme was to have sex with your spouse only for procreational purposes (there was no sex allowed during her pregnancy and certainly not during her period). Men, on the other hand, were allowed to have sex without love or extreme passion to prostitutes, mainly as a biological release for their well being. So guess what profession jumps up in number along with domestic service?
Prostitution fills the western world and again like in old Athens (but minus the education and political influence), women see a way to make good money and have Independence, especially with no Vice squad in the police department.
Yes, Victorian housewives had a pretty dull existence, but it was the last that women would be seen as second to men and that wives would be seen as property or responsibility. This would be the time when society takes the prototype offered for thousands of years and in it's place creates dual income, marriage counseling, 'better sex for couples' books and stay at home dad's. Though we still had to get through the 1950's.
The Victorian age saw the rise of the middle class, the dawn of the industrial revolution and the surge of domestic servants and prostitution. During the 1800's the economic shift that replaced aristocracy with a middle class created a desire to excel in social status. Yup, it's keeping up with the Jones', and if you guys are making the same money and have the same power what can you try to out do the other in? I introduce you to gentility.
This is the time where we see a rush of books on etiquette purchased to be given to all ladies of the home and young girls. A time where the wives were to be unburdened by any form of household work, making domestic service one of the largest employments for women. The idea of educating women may have been on the horizon but it certainly was not common place. Women were still second class citizens and, for the most part, property of her husband; property, however, that was also considered somewhat untouchable. Think china doll. This is the time when women had no clue as to their anatomy, no instruction on sex or sexuality and it was a widely held belief that virtuous women were very seldom capable of full sexual desire. The modesty of a Victorian woman was so highly regarded that only during extreme cases was there to be a gynecological exam, and those were done in the dark.
SO let's see you have a wife with too much time on her hands,no responsibility, no sexual satisfaction and no education. What is a girl to do? Why shopping, gossiping and lallygagging of course (think the Bravo channels' 'real housewives of Orange county' program).
The view on sex at this time had taken another turn. Wives were thought to be intolerant of such an act like coitus and the religious theme was to have sex with your spouse only for procreational purposes (there was no sex allowed during her pregnancy and certainly not during her period). Men, on the other hand, were allowed to have sex without love or extreme passion to prostitutes, mainly as a biological release for their well being. So guess what profession jumps up in number along with domestic service?
Prostitution fills the western world and again like in old Athens (but minus the education and political influence), women see a way to make good money and have Independence, especially with no Vice squad in the police department.
Yes, Victorian housewives had a pretty dull existence, but it was the last that women would be seen as second to men and that wives would be seen as property or responsibility. This would be the time when society takes the prototype offered for thousands of years and in it's place creates dual income, marriage counseling, 'better sex for couples' books and stay at home dad's. Though we still had to get through the 1950's.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
redefining sex
With an ever expanding interpretation of sex and sex acts it makes one wonder if our vocabulary definitions need an update from their puritanical origins. For instance
according to dictionary.com
To have sex means to engage in sexual intercourse.
Sodomy is defined as oral or anal copulation with the opposite sex or copulation with a member of the same sex.
Virgin is someone who has never had sex or an unmarried girl or woman.
Slut refers to a dirty or slovenly woman or an immoral and dissolute woman and or prostitute.
Interesting eh? maybe it's time to give those words a makeover especially since
Bootylicious is in there and defined as sexually attractive especially in the buttocks.
according to dictionary.com
To have sex means to engage in sexual intercourse.
Sodomy is defined as oral or anal copulation with the opposite sex or copulation with a member of the same sex.
Virgin is someone who has never had sex or an unmarried girl or woman.
Slut refers to a dirty or slovenly woman or an immoral and dissolute woman and or prostitute.
Interesting eh? maybe it's time to give those words a makeover especially since
Bootylicious is in there and defined as sexually attractive especially in the buttocks.
quote of the day
"Sex is a big question mark. It is something people will talk about forever."
-Catherine Deneuve
-Catherine Deneuve
erotic art that speaks volumes
This artist has some of the most interesting and pertinent erotic art work I've ever seen.
http://vargagallery.com/Meadow.htm
http://vargagallery.com/Meadow.htm
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
starting a sex group: the new bookclub
This summer a close friend and I were talking about sex and our sexual experiences, hang ups and what we wanted to manifest or work on. I had just purchased the domain name to my first site and I was eager to get the opinions of my friends on sex and sexuality. We talked and shared and at the end of our conversation we both felt witnessed, validated and empowered. It was soon after that we decided to make an invitation only discussion group and see if the same kind of effects could take place among a diverse group. So, that following week, a group of 10-14 people both male and female ranging in ages 20-55 , married, gay, straight, polyamourous and single were sitting in my friends home and about to emotionally strip.
That first night she and I introduced our desire to be able to discuss sex and be vulnerable and honest in talking about what we were working towards as a sexual individual or what we were trying to cease doing or thinking or feeling in regards to sex. The only rules were that you respect everyone, refrained from judging and that whatever was shared in the group stayed in the group.
I thought it might take a bit to get everyone started or feeling comfortable, but it just took off into what became a four hour talk. It was amazing to hear the stories told or attitudes felt and experiences had, with such candor and confidence. We went around the circle and had a check in. Each person had the ability to say what they were feeling; whether or not they had a rough week at work, home or elsewhere, then they stated if there was anything that they wanted to talk about in regards to sex or just state how they were doing sexually speaking.
We are a society that sells soda with an image of a woman's breasts or deodorant with a heterosexual couple in coitus and yet we do not have a comprehensive sex education that covers, not only the physical, but both the emotional and spiritual aspects of sex.
A lot of what we have learned about sex and sexuality comes from the media, our culture and our peers. With no education you have little information and unless you educate yourself it can leave you confused, uncertain or dis-empowered. Having a sex group where we could find similarity as well as opposition allowed me the opportunity to confront myself on items I had never even been aware of until they came up in group. I was no longer ignorant and therefore able to make decisions with the knowledge I had gained.
We met twice a month and occasionally invited new people to share. Most of us moved from the area and the talks ended after four months. The plan is to start another one after the holidays.
I encourage the forming of sex talks. It is a good way to deepen friendships and create a better understanding of, both yourself and individuals. It also takes the power back from societal viewpoints on sex and allows you to listen, learn and create a new, broader way of looking at sex and your sexuality.
Happy talking!
That first night she and I introduced our desire to be able to discuss sex and be vulnerable and honest in talking about what we were working towards as a sexual individual or what we were trying to cease doing or thinking or feeling in regards to sex. The only rules were that you respect everyone, refrained from judging and that whatever was shared in the group stayed in the group.
I thought it might take a bit to get everyone started or feeling comfortable, but it just took off into what became a four hour talk. It was amazing to hear the stories told or attitudes felt and experiences had, with such candor and confidence. We went around the circle and had a check in. Each person had the ability to say what they were feeling; whether or not they had a rough week at work, home or elsewhere, then they stated if there was anything that they wanted to talk about in regards to sex or just state how they were doing sexually speaking.
We are a society that sells soda with an image of a woman's breasts or deodorant with a heterosexual couple in coitus and yet we do not have a comprehensive sex education that covers, not only the physical, but both the emotional and spiritual aspects of sex.
A lot of what we have learned about sex and sexuality comes from the media, our culture and our peers. With no education you have little information and unless you educate yourself it can leave you confused, uncertain or dis-empowered. Having a sex group where we could find similarity as well as opposition allowed me the opportunity to confront myself on items I had never even been aware of until they came up in group. I was no longer ignorant and therefore able to make decisions with the knowledge I had gained.
We met twice a month and occasionally invited new people to share. Most of us moved from the area and the talks ended after four months. The plan is to start another one after the holidays.
I encourage the forming of sex talks. It is a good way to deepen friendships and create a better understanding of, both yourself and individuals. It also takes the power back from societal viewpoints on sex and allows you to listen, learn and create a new, broader way of looking at sex and your sexuality.
Happy talking!
The return of porn actually
In September, with the help of a friend, I started a website called pornactually.com. My desire in starting it was to have a site about sex and pornography that was honest, confrontational, educational, humorous and titillating. We had, among other things, reviewed a conscious porn site, done a book review on fantasy and the psychological meanings behind them and had our sex and relationship counselor answer questions.
It was up on the Internet for about a month and a half and then it got hacked.
So, that sucked. The good to come out of it was that I got to start this blog; which fulfills the nerdy part of me that enjoys research and many trips to wikipedia, google and my local library. This blog allows me to review my journey by way of posts that were explored as a means to get a richer understanding of the sexual identity I inherited from my family, religion and culture.
PornActually is my way of meshing my research, studies and personal opinions and integrating it into what is happening in society, current affairs and in the sex industry that will ultimately shape the way sex will be taught, viewed and practiced, and I start working on it tomorrow.
It was up on the Internet for about a month and a half and then it got hacked.
So, that sucked. The good to come out of it was that I got to start this blog; which fulfills the nerdy part of me that enjoys research and many trips to wikipedia, google and my local library. This blog allows me to review my journey by way of posts that were explored as a means to get a richer understanding of the sexual identity I inherited from my family, religion and culture.
PornActually is my way of meshing my research, studies and personal opinions and integrating it into what is happening in society, current affairs and in the sex industry that will ultimately shape the way sex will be taught, viewed and practiced, and I start working on it tomorrow.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Sex, the new health insurance plan
Sex for pleasure, stress reduction, connection, release and dental hygiene?
Follow this link to find out how you can avoid heart attacks, depression and burn off six big macs through sex.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16282622/
Follow this link to find out how you can avoid heart attacks, depression and burn off six big macs through sex.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16282622/
Saturday, November 29, 2008
quote of the day
"Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside."
- Dorothy Allison
- Dorothy Allison
the macro and micro of sexual repression
When debating how the the suppression of women's sexuality came to pass, historians usually agree that it was most likely due to a male dominated society. That's... not such a shock. What is is that, when anthropologists study cultures where female genital mutilation is still practiced or there is a suppression of female sexuality, they find that it is usually the other women of the tribe or culture that enforce the tradition or maintain the suppression of sexuality. Why would women do that to other women?*
The feeling is that, after being a subjugated people, an acceptance and mutual enforcement begin to take place. When you have centuries of viewing either a gender, race or tribe as inferior it becomes that much harder to rise above the standard as individuals because of the psychological effects of said oppression. The self esteem and personal value of that people has been stripped away as each generation that follows, hardens that cultural identity.
It then becomes the identity of that particular group of people, and that, in turn, becomes their story, tale and a personal history. It is at the cornerstone of who they are.**
We are roughly three generations into our own cultural shift with sex . There has always been homosexuality, affairs, pre-marital sex and prostitution but those fringed on the outskirts of the accepted and established view of western sexuality.
The Catholic and Christian Church is a huge cultural identity for most of us who live in the western world (whether raised in the church or not it still permeates our culture in the form of blue laws, laws against prostitution, zoning laws against sex businesses, consensual sex crimes, abstinence only sex education and or course Prop 8); and there are many people (quite a few of whom hold office) who are asserting control, judgement and opinion to keep the shift from happening. That would be the macrocosm of sexual oppression.
Of course the times they are a changing and we now have a black president elect (who happens to be a Christian; Oh wait a minute; weren't all our presidents Christian? Why yes, all but Kennedy...who was a devout Catholic) The merging of spirituality into society as a means to keep intact one's faith while releasing the dogma is also influencing the new way in which we see the world, each other and sex.
So here is where I try to make amends with the microcosm of sexual intolerance. My own judgements about sex. I was raised Catholic and still have times where masturbation seems dirty. I still have my internal wince that happens when I hear about teenagers who have had many sexual partners or when I hear about people who cheat on their partners or people who are having an affair with someone in a relationship.
There is an inner judge within me who gets to sit on her lofty high horse and look down upon people she feels are morally inferior. That particular brand of moral opinion is, what I feel, left over from years of not being honest and willing to destroy my concept of "how it should be". I don't know what should be. I know what feels good in my moral, emotional and physical body and that is what forms my sexual preference but I came to prefer this because of years of trial and error. So who are we to try and control the way people, consensually, finesse their sexual path?
I have a friend who becomes outraged at the way men in our community go through women. She gets angry at the men and then insists that the women reject their advances and have more self respect; but isn't her anger just her own story coming out to try and control a group of consensual adults? Is she really looking out for the best interests of the women, or trying to avoid seeing something that mirrors a hurt from her past?
I have men in my life who are sexually "free" and seemingly totally cool with the idea of open relationships or "hooking up" with out attachments. Men who then astonish me in the way they talk about guys who are more prolific in their affairs, or when they see women who they feel rejected by or how the double standard comes up when a woman that they were physical with shows the same eagerness to keep it loose and move onto the next guy. It is a quick means to defend their sexual ego. What did she do that they themselves were not doing? Is it of importance that other people know which man or woman is getting it on more than he is? Why does any of that matter?
Judge, make them separate. If I can judge you then I am of enough height above you as to point my finger and, in my own way, subjectify you to an action.
The contempt we feel in regards to our society's attitudes and ignorance towards sex, sex education and sexuality might just be a reflection of our own inability to come to terms with sexuality and sexual behavior in others. I still have my egoic view of what's "good" and bad". But I have added another voice that says "who cares?"
Here's to living with abandon, loving without fear, witnessing without the labels and creating a shift in consciousness that allows the world more acceptance, freedom and equanimity.
* It may be true that men in cultures face a similar societal suppression, but due to relevance I chose the example of women's sexual suppression.
**Of course there are exceptions like the woman's suffrage movement and the civil rights movements of America.
The feeling is that, after being a subjugated people, an acceptance and mutual enforcement begin to take place. When you have centuries of viewing either a gender, race or tribe as inferior it becomes that much harder to rise above the standard as individuals because of the psychological effects of said oppression. The self esteem and personal value of that people has been stripped away as each generation that follows, hardens that cultural identity.
It then becomes the identity of that particular group of people, and that, in turn, becomes their story, tale and a personal history. It is at the cornerstone of who they are.**
We are roughly three generations into our own cultural shift with sex . There has always been homosexuality, affairs, pre-marital sex and prostitution but those fringed on the outskirts of the accepted and established view of western sexuality.
The Catholic and Christian Church is a huge cultural identity for most of us who live in the western world (whether raised in the church or not it still permeates our culture in the form of blue laws, laws against prostitution, zoning laws against sex businesses, consensual sex crimes, abstinence only sex education and or course Prop 8); and there are many people (quite a few of whom hold office) who are asserting control, judgement and opinion to keep the shift from happening. That would be the macrocosm of sexual oppression.
Of course the times they are a changing and we now have a black president elect (who happens to be a Christian; Oh wait a minute; weren't all our presidents Christian? Why yes, all but Kennedy...who was a devout Catholic) The merging of spirituality into society as a means to keep intact one's faith while releasing the dogma is also influencing the new way in which we see the world, each other and sex.
So here is where I try to make amends with the microcosm of sexual intolerance. My own judgements about sex. I was raised Catholic and still have times where masturbation seems dirty. I still have my internal wince that happens when I hear about teenagers who have had many sexual partners or when I hear about people who cheat on their partners or people who are having an affair with someone in a relationship.
There is an inner judge within me who gets to sit on her lofty high horse and look down upon people she feels are morally inferior. That particular brand of moral opinion is, what I feel, left over from years of not being honest and willing to destroy my concept of "how it should be". I don't know what should be. I know what feels good in my moral, emotional and physical body and that is what forms my sexual preference but I came to prefer this because of years of trial and error. So who are we to try and control the way people, consensually, finesse their sexual path?
I have a friend who becomes outraged at the way men in our community go through women. She gets angry at the men and then insists that the women reject their advances and have more self respect; but isn't her anger just her own story coming out to try and control a group of consensual adults? Is she really looking out for the best interests of the women, or trying to avoid seeing something that mirrors a hurt from her past?
I have men in my life who are sexually "free" and seemingly totally cool with the idea of open relationships or "hooking up" with out attachments. Men who then astonish me in the way they talk about guys who are more prolific in their affairs, or when they see women who they feel rejected by or how the double standard comes up when a woman that they were physical with shows the same eagerness to keep it loose and move onto the next guy. It is a quick means to defend their sexual ego. What did she do that they themselves were not doing? Is it of importance that other people know which man or woman is getting it on more than he is? Why does any of that matter?
Judge, make them separate. If I can judge you then I am of enough height above you as to point my finger and, in my own way, subjectify you to an action.
The contempt we feel in regards to our society's attitudes and ignorance towards sex, sex education and sexuality might just be a reflection of our own inability to come to terms with sexuality and sexual behavior in others. I still have my egoic view of what's "good" and bad". But I have added another voice that says "who cares?"
Here's to living with abandon, loving without fear, witnessing without the labels and creating a shift in consciousness that allows the world more acceptance, freedom and equanimity.
* It may be true that men in cultures face a similar societal suppression, but due to relevance I chose the example of women's sexual suppression.
**Of course there are exceptions like the woman's suffrage movement and the civil rights movements of America.
Friday, November 28, 2008
quote of the day
"Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures chronic depression."
-Faye Wattleton
-Faye Wattleton
before you burn all those calories off with sex....
I trust that some may have eaten two to three times their normal intake at last night's dinner. The food hangover is a rough one. Bloating, sluggishness. sounds sexy.
So in honor of over indulgence I thought I'd write about what happens to the brain when you over indulge in sex. It's a lot prettier than indigestion.
We all have our pleasure spots unique to us. The places on our body where, when touched, rubbed or licked send the euphoric waves of orgasm coursing through our system. However, we can all unite in the erogenous zone between the ears.
Ah yes, the beautiful and sexy amydala, located in the limbic system, otherwise known as our mammalian brain. This region of the brain has been keeping us alive by using neurochemicals that give us the primal desire to eat, drink, feel, love, fight and have sex. Sandwiched in between our nice, big rational neo-cortex and the more basic survival region, the central core, the limbic system is where our pleasure neurochemicals are released.
The way it works is to give us a rush of the chemical dopamine which goes off like a reward to your body; as in "yay! you found food have some dope" or "yay! you had sex here's some more dope!", kinda like when you cleaned your room or did household chores around the house for a couple of dollars. It is because of this, the dopamine pleasure pay off, that our urges seem out of control at times. The addictive part of you that "has to have it", yup that would be your limbic talking.
The amygdala, much like any paying job, doesn't hand out the same amount of dopamine for any menial task. You get a certain amount for imbibing water, eating certain foods and feeling certain emotions. Chocolate cake rewards one with more dopamine than a fresh salad because it contains more calories and your mammalian brain is still looking to survive, not knowing that, not only have we survived but we've been so good at survival that we now have type2 diabetes!
Again this is why we have a rational neo cortex to keep that wayward mammal in check.
Wasn't i going to talk about orgasms?
Orgasms are the biggest shot of Dopamine available to us (legally that is ). After a study done on brain scanning during orgasm it was found that the brain resembled that of a brain during a heroin rush, and like any heroin addict knows, that high has an equal low.
Your body must find it's homeostasis and that means a reduction of dopamine and a post coital hangover. You may notice a subtle difference in mood or in desire or presence.
You know the societal thought that men just want to sleep after sex? well, in part it's true. The depletion of dopamine right after orgasm is also a depletion in interest and it facilitates the surge of a peptide hormone called Prolcatin. Evidence shows that prolactin acts as a stress hormone like fight or flight as well as the type of stress that goes along with feeling defeated, despair or like giving up. It surges faster in men and in a more time release fashion in women, but it can come and go for up to 2 weeks for both sexes.
Because when one is up the other is down an equivalent mood manifests. The up and down roller coaster of satiating a desire and suffering it's hangover can be attributed to some other aspects of relationships like anxiety, depression and mood swings as well as loss of libido. One partner can be needy while the other removed. It can also encourage addiction to get the body back into a dopamine high.
One way of identifying the high/low affects is by abstaining for orgasm for a few weeks and recording the difference, if any, or stasis in your mood; then achieve orgasm and follow that for 2 weeks. Notice if you have a shift. Have you found more reasons to argue in your relationship? do you feel more morose or removed? I figure I'll give it a try to see where in the midst of the margin, i lay (This experiment will start next week however as I am going to visit my love this weekend). I'll write about what, if anything, I find.
Happy digestion and enjoy your black Friday!
**I feel that chemical imbalance is a catch phrase that we are all too eager to take a pill for, but I research sex and not mood disorders. Having said that, it is not uncommon for people to have too much of one and too little of another as far as their chemical make up goes. This article is meant to add some entertainment and information and not diagnose or instill fear.
***There are many minerals and vitamins available that can help replenish the brain's happy chemicals and you can find a table of contents on wikipedia. -Search for vitamin and mineral deficiency and you'll see each one's table
So in honor of over indulgence I thought I'd write about what happens to the brain when you over indulge in sex. It's a lot prettier than indigestion.
We all have our pleasure spots unique to us. The places on our body where, when touched, rubbed or licked send the euphoric waves of orgasm coursing through our system. However, we can all unite in the erogenous zone between the ears.
Ah yes, the beautiful and sexy amydala, located in the limbic system, otherwise known as our mammalian brain. This region of the brain has been keeping us alive by using neurochemicals that give us the primal desire to eat, drink, feel, love, fight and have sex. Sandwiched in between our nice, big rational neo-cortex and the more basic survival region, the central core, the limbic system is where our pleasure neurochemicals are released.
The way it works is to give us a rush of the chemical dopamine which goes off like a reward to your body; as in "yay! you found food have some dope" or "yay! you had sex here's some more dope!", kinda like when you cleaned your room or did household chores around the house for a couple of dollars. It is because of this, the dopamine pleasure pay off, that our urges seem out of control at times. The addictive part of you that "has to have it", yup that would be your limbic talking.
The amygdala, much like any paying job, doesn't hand out the same amount of dopamine for any menial task. You get a certain amount for imbibing water, eating certain foods and feeling certain emotions. Chocolate cake rewards one with more dopamine than a fresh salad because it contains more calories and your mammalian brain is still looking to survive, not knowing that, not only have we survived but we've been so good at survival that we now have type2 diabetes!
Again this is why we have a rational neo cortex to keep that wayward mammal in check.
Wasn't i going to talk about orgasms?
Orgasms are the biggest shot of Dopamine available to us (legally that is ). After a study done on brain scanning during orgasm it was found that the brain resembled that of a brain during a heroin rush, and like any heroin addict knows, that high has an equal low.
Your body must find it's homeostasis and that means a reduction of dopamine and a post coital hangover. You may notice a subtle difference in mood or in desire or presence.
You know the societal thought that men just want to sleep after sex? well, in part it's true. The depletion of dopamine right after orgasm is also a depletion in interest and it facilitates the surge of a peptide hormone called Prolcatin. Evidence shows that prolactin acts as a stress hormone like fight or flight as well as the type of stress that goes along with feeling defeated, despair or like giving up. It surges faster in men and in a more time release fashion in women, but it can come and go for up to 2 weeks for both sexes.
Because when one is up the other is down an equivalent mood manifests. The up and down roller coaster of satiating a desire and suffering it's hangover can be attributed to some other aspects of relationships like anxiety, depression and mood swings as well as loss of libido. One partner can be needy while the other removed. It can also encourage addiction to get the body back into a dopamine high.
One way of identifying the high/low affects is by abstaining for orgasm for a few weeks and recording the difference, if any, or stasis in your mood; then achieve orgasm and follow that for 2 weeks. Notice if you have a shift. Have you found more reasons to argue in your relationship? do you feel more morose or removed? I figure I'll give it a try to see where in the midst of the margin, i lay (This experiment will start next week however as I am going to visit my love this weekend). I'll write about what, if anything, I find.
Happy digestion and enjoy your black Friday!
**I feel that chemical imbalance is a catch phrase that we are all too eager to take a pill for, but I research sex and not mood disorders. Having said that, it is not uncommon for people to have too much of one and too little of another as far as their chemical make up goes. This article is meant to add some entertainment and information and not diagnose or instill fear.
***There are many minerals and vitamins available that can help replenish the brain's happy chemicals and you can find a table of contents on wikipedia. -Search for vitamin and mineral deficiency and you'll see each one's table
Thursday, November 27, 2008
quote of the day
"It is easy to be glib about Zen- i'll just keep my mouth shut
And rely on love play all day long"
-Zen Monk, Ikkyu Sojun
And rely on love play all day long"
-Zen Monk, Ikkyu Sojun
novelty/intimacy: can you add spice without a fling?
The beginning of a relationship is just spectacular. You make love 3 times a day, you can't stop thinking about each other and everything your new and shiny partner does is just the cutest thing ever. God, how did life's luck pour so heavy handed onto your lap?
Fast forward a month or two or a year or two, depending on whether or not you have decided to cohabitate immediately or if you have been living on opposite sides of the world.
This person who was so alive and captivating has now become another extension of you. It's not that they are any less attractive or intelligent, why, you might find that they have become your best friend and partner for life; but there is something missing, that spark, that passion, that desire to uncover every inch of that person and find out what's underneath.
Too bad you already did. And now you have metabolized that mystery and you may feel like you need another authentic taste of novelty, difference or variety, with or perhaps without your partner.
I have this theory that it isn't the relationship that gets boring, it's the people that get boring.
Studies show that couples who go on vacation report more sex, less arguing and more enjoyment of each other and the relationship during and for the month proceeding the trip. When your mind is experiencing something new the level of presence is heightened. You have yet to categorize the moment into the container of your life as you know it. Going somewhere new together is like a dose of pure presence that inherently might make the both of you feel a bit more vital.
The same is true for flirting. There is a new attractive man or woman. They are unique to you. All that they say or do is heightening your level of awareness. It fills you with a rush and perhaps you find yourself looking forward to seeing them.
these are the drug of novelty. It does not sustain itself but replenishes with each encounter of the new.
Intimacy is great. You may not have sex as often but you have witnessed each other cry, explode, achieve and for the most part accept each other for who you are. you are co creating a relationship and hopefully maintaining a manifestation of each others dreams. So what happens when the need for novelty becomes juxtaposed with the intimacy?
Back to people getting boring.
If we were an exciting people we probably wouldn't have so much stuff, nor would we have so much television or video games. Rather than looking at the new item we can consume or person we can explore why not look within and do something new for yourself? Read a book on bird watching, take tango lessons, learn a new language, judo, horseback riding, painting, piano, yoga. What about meditating, sky diving, scuba diving, and everything else in between. Better yet, embark on this un-traversed territory with your partner. If it's just a little spice your after try getting a book on sex. Try out some kinky stuff. Master and slave. Or maybe you just need a sexual nudge like tantra practices or eye locking and breath exchanging.
There is no need to limit yourself and if you find that your path is one that includes satiating it's desire for sexual exploration through new lovers, then by all means, be safe and enjoy your journey!
For others the desire for remaining in a monogamous union might fare well with self discovery and new skills. Just check in. Are you present, accountable and being authentic to yourself and the situation. Chances are if you answer yes to all of those whatever it is is right for you.
Fast forward a month or two or a year or two, depending on whether or not you have decided to cohabitate immediately or if you have been living on opposite sides of the world.
This person who was so alive and captivating has now become another extension of you. It's not that they are any less attractive or intelligent, why, you might find that they have become your best friend and partner for life; but there is something missing, that spark, that passion, that desire to uncover every inch of that person and find out what's underneath.
Too bad you already did. And now you have metabolized that mystery and you may feel like you need another authentic taste of novelty, difference or variety, with or perhaps without your partner.
I have this theory that it isn't the relationship that gets boring, it's the people that get boring.
Studies show that couples who go on vacation report more sex, less arguing and more enjoyment of each other and the relationship during and for the month proceeding the trip. When your mind is experiencing something new the level of presence is heightened. You have yet to categorize the moment into the container of your life as you know it. Going somewhere new together is like a dose of pure presence that inherently might make the both of you feel a bit more vital.
The same is true for flirting. There is a new attractive man or woman. They are unique to you. All that they say or do is heightening your level of awareness. It fills you with a rush and perhaps you find yourself looking forward to seeing them.
these are the drug of novelty. It does not sustain itself but replenishes with each encounter of the new.
Intimacy is great. You may not have sex as often but you have witnessed each other cry, explode, achieve and for the most part accept each other for who you are. you are co creating a relationship and hopefully maintaining a manifestation of each others dreams. So what happens when the need for novelty becomes juxtaposed with the intimacy?
Back to people getting boring.
If we were an exciting people we probably wouldn't have so much stuff, nor would we have so much television or video games. Rather than looking at the new item we can consume or person we can explore why not look within and do something new for yourself? Read a book on bird watching, take tango lessons, learn a new language, judo, horseback riding, painting, piano, yoga. What about meditating, sky diving, scuba diving, and everything else in between. Better yet, embark on this un-traversed territory with your partner. If it's just a little spice your after try getting a book on sex. Try out some kinky stuff. Master and slave. Or maybe you just need a sexual nudge like tantra practices or eye locking and breath exchanging.
There is no need to limit yourself and if you find that your path is one that includes satiating it's desire for sexual exploration through new lovers, then by all means, be safe and enjoy your journey!
For others the desire for remaining in a monogamous union might fare well with self discovery and new skills. Just check in. Are you present, accountable and being authentic to yourself and the situation. Chances are if you answer yes to all of those whatever it is is right for you.
a peek into pilgrim sex
A 2 page article on the sexual lives, deviancy and admonishments from our favorite buckle branded turkey lovers.
http://http//www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15754563/
Enjoy!
http://http//www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15754563/
Enjoy!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
A glimpse into the real houswives of ancient greece
Ah, Athens. Home of the Parthenon, Socrates, the prototype for inappropriate behavior between trusted males and young boys and sexually frustrated housewives.
Seen as irrational, oversexed and morally defective, women in Athens had limited ability for sexual, intellectual and cultural expansion. The three more common roles for women were wife, Hetairai, meaning a servant for Aphrodite, and the Courtesan.
Some things you could look forward to as an Athenian wife were no physical attention from your husband outside of procreating, a lack of any education, not being allowed to have supper with their husbands, not being allowed outside the house save for exceptions like going to the Agora or marketplace.
Meanwhile if you were a heraitai you were not only educated but privy to political conversation and influence, free to go outside, free to own property, allowed to sit with men at the table and paid for sex. Courtesans were the happy medium; you were paid for your craft but not as highly regarded, educated or influential as a heraitai. Pretty much being a wife was a good way to ensure never having to do homework or put out.*
Bit of an imbalance if you ask me.
The only male attention, relationship and affection most of these women ever experienced was from their sons which, some historians say is where the stereotyping of Mediterranean men as "mamma's boys" comes from.
As a wife your were to be chaste, level headed, adroit at spinning, weaving and tailoring, able to oversee house hold task and be thrifty. You were also expected to "lie" with your husband at least 3 times a month to produce an heir. Romantic.
Because most historic accounts chronicle the lives of the wealthy, one hopes that the lower class wives may have had more equanimity and, goddess willing, more coitus.
*Wives did have some sexual outlet. They got to masturbate. A lot. As a matter of fact the Asia minor coastal city, Miletas, was the manufacturer and exporter of the oliosbos, or dildos, as they are so lumpishly called today, and the Athenian women were the target market. The common treat for the erotic and acquiescent was either a wooden or padded leather penile substitute, sold separately was the olive oil lubricant to wield one of those bad boys.
Seen as irrational, oversexed and morally defective, women in Athens had limited ability for sexual, intellectual and cultural expansion. The three more common roles for women were wife, Hetairai, meaning a servant for Aphrodite, and the Courtesan.
Some things you could look forward to as an Athenian wife were no physical attention from your husband outside of procreating, a lack of any education, not being allowed to have supper with their husbands, not being allowed outside the house save for exceptions like going to the Agora or marketplace.
Meanwhile if you were a heraitai you were not only educated but privy to political conversation and influence, free to go outside, free to own property, allowed to sit with men at the table and paid for sex. Courtesans were the happy medium; you were paid for your craft but not as highly regarded, educated or influential as a heraitai. Pretty much being a wife was a good way to ensure never having to do homework or put out.*
Bit of an imbalance if you ask me.
The only male attention, relationship and affection most of these women ever experienced was from their sons which, some historians say is where the stereotyping of Mediterranean men as "mamma's boys" comes from.
As a wife your were to be chaste, level headed, adroit at spinning, weaving and tailoring, able to oversee house hold task and be thrifty. You were also expected to "lie" with your husband at least 3 times a month to produce an heir. Romantic.
Because most historic accounts chronicle the lives of the wealthy, one hopes that the lower class wives may have had more equanimity and, goddess willing, more coitus.
*Wives did have some sexual outlet. They got to masturbate. A lot. As a matter of fact the Asia minor coastal city, Miletas, was the manufacturer and exporter of the oliosbos, or dildos, as they are so lumpishly called today, and the Athenian women were the target market. The common treat for the erotic and acquiescent was either a wooden or padded leather penile substitute, sold separately was the olive oil lubricant to wield one of those bad boys.
quote of the day
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
-Mark Twain
-Mark Twain
In Search of Sex Ed
I was fortunate enough to be in middle school when the western world was focused on AIDS and HIV. Ryan White had passed away a couple of years before and now MTV, musicians, designers and actors were making sure they used their voice to let us know the reality of sex and sexually transmitted disease. Remember Salt 'n' Peppa sing the alternative song to "let's talk about sex", "let's talk about AIDS"? Madonna and George Michael were walking ads for sex but they also supported STD awareness.
That message ceased and a new generation of fame and angst hit the spotlight. Brittney shows her Mons pubis, Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are tag teaming some off shoot of the backstreet boys and between rehabs these new stars exchange partners, fluids and diet tips all for page 6 to record and give to the ever hungry American public.
That isn't really the problem, more just a sign of the times...if you're under 35, rich and famous. What I am more perplexed about it is why we are selling sex in everything and showing sex so flippantly in everything and not educating people at the same time?
OK sex sells and is used ad nauseam, we get it. So why then did the government want an abstinence only sex ed program?
If teens are the largest consumer demographic, largest television and web followers and host to surging hormones don't ya think we ought to give 'em some kind of information? I mean accurate, clinical, sex education? maybe something that goes deeper than just the content of semen or the various forms of contraceptive. How about a foray into what can happen to you emotionally when you have sex? the chemicals released in your brain? The different types of hormones that make you fall in love? the psychological pitfalls of feeling pressured to have sex or having it when you don't really want to but do anyway because you don't know how to say no, which almost ALL of my female friends as well as myself experienced in high school or college.
I have two friends with full blown AIDS, one with HIV, dozens with herpes and I have been a part of a few sex talk groups where I have seen countless women, young women and men talk about the emotional "i though it was just me" aspect of sexual trauma or confusion.
I think a sexually free world is awesome but you cannot have true freedom until you have been educated. Haven't you heard knowledge is power?
With Barack Obama coming into office in January and this summers revelation that HIV and AIDS cases were grossly underestimated, we should be looking at a more extensive plan for sex and STD education. In the meantime let's hope that these kids start finding the sexuality section at the bookstore half as interesting as they found Paris Hilton's sex tape.
That message ceased and a new generation of fame and angst hit the spotlight. Brittney shows her Mons pubis, Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are tag teaming some off shoot of the backstreet boys and between rehabs these new stars exchange partners, fluids and diet tips all for page 6 to record and give to the ever hungry American public.
That isn't really the problem, more just a sign of the times...if you're under 35, rich and famous. What I am more perplexed about it is why we are selling sex in everything and showing sex so flippantly in everything and not educating people at the same time?
OK sex sells and is used ad nauseam, we get it. So why then did the government want an abstinence only sex ed program?
If teens are the largest consumer demographic, largest television and web followers and host to surging hormones don't ya think we ought to give 'em some kind of information? I mean accurate, clinical, sex education? maybe something that goes deeper than just the content of semen or the various forms of contraceptive. How about a foray into what can happen to you emotionally when you have sex? the chemicals released in your brain? The different types of hormones that make you fall in love? the psychological pitfalls of feeling pressured to have sex or having it when you don't really want to but do anyway because you don't know how to say no, which almost ALL of my female friends as well as myself experienced in high school or college.
I have two friends with full blown AIDS, one with HIV, dozens with herpes and I have been a part of a few sex talk groups where I have seen countless women, young women and men talk about the emotional "i though it was just me" aspect of sexual trauma or confusion.
I think a sexually free world is awesome but you cannot have true freedom until you have been educated. Haven't you heard knowledge is power?
With Barack Obama coming into office in January and this summers revelation that HIV and AIDS cases were grossly underestimated, we should be looking at a more extensive plan for sex and STD education. In the meantime let's hope that these kids start finding the sexuality section at the bookstore half as interesting as they found Paris Hilton's sex tape.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Venus of Willendorf; Humankinds first sex toy?
For years archaeologists and anthropologists have claimed that the Venus of Willendorf, a 4 inch, limestone figurine of a VERY buxom and disproportionate female, was a symbol of fertility. It would make sense wouldn't it? I mean women have the babies and lactate and menstruate; they worked in the fields and gathered as the men hunted. Of course.
But that makes sense to us, a, for the most part, educated people who have been around the evolutionary block. Two flaws in the fertility theory exist.
One is that Paleolithic people did not necessarily want human fertility. As a matter of fact they frequently engaged in infanticide, killing, what is estimated to be, more than 50% of all female babies. The plight for scavaging and hunting enough food was difficult enough as it was without worrying about a nursing mother who required more calories and another mouth to feed.
If anything the only fertility they would want would be that of the animals, and I have yet to study figurines of pregnant cattle.
Two is that there are cave drawings that depict men in hunting scenes, they sometimes are shown wearing hides or animal skins yet are represented by phallic symbols.
It is thought that there was no connection at this time to the male's role in procreation and it is for those reasons that there is doubt our 4 inch figure was Miss Fertility 24,000BCE. If the phallys was a show at sexual identification and probable sexual athleticism then the exaggerated mons pubis, buttock and breats, not to mention belly could just as well have been a sexual identification of the female.
The fact that there are over 60 travel sized, possible sex objects allows into question the use of Venus as a sex toy or early porn. Perhaps, centuries from now, the new race of humans will come to find an intact top 10 magazine and proclaim that dripping semen on a womans chest was a ceremonial act to induce fertility.
But that makes sense to us, a, for the most part, educated people who have been around the evolutionary block. Two flaws in the fertility theory exist.
One is that Paleolithic people did not necessarily want human fertility. As a matter of fact they frequently engaged in infanticide, killing, what is estimated to be, more than 50% of all female babies. The plight for scavaging and hunting enough food was difficult enough as it was without worrying about a nursing mother who required more calories and another mouth to feed.
If anything the only fertility they would want would be that of the animals, and I have yet to study figurines of pregnant cattle.
Two is that there are cave drawings that depict men in hunting scenes, they sometimes are shown wearing hides or animal skins yet are represented by phallic symbols.
It is thought that there was no connection at this time to the male's role in procreation and it is for those reasons that there is doubt our 4 inch figure was Miss Fertility 24,000BCE. If the phallys was a show at sexual identification and probable sexual athleticism then the exaggerated mons pubis, buttock and breats, not to mention belly could just as well have been a sexual identification of the female.
The fact that there are over 60 travel sized, possible sex objects allows into question the use of Venus as a sex toy or early porn. Perhaps, centuries from now, the new race of humans will come to find an intact top 10 magazine and proclaim that dripping semen on a womans chest was a ceremonial act to induce fertility.
passage of the day
"We do not stick to the same sexual diet all the way through our lives! This may be due to our emotional circumstances (all our desires may be channeled through one person) but also to those times we take stock of ourselves,thanks to changes that may have intervened in aspects of our lives not necessarily connected with love (moving, illness, a new professional or intellectual environment), when we find ourselves off the track we were following."
from 'The sexual life of Catherine M.' by Catherine Millet
from 'The sexual life of Catherine M.' by Catherine Millet
Deepak on sex
An interview with Deepak Chopra on the spiritual connection of creativity, passion, insight and sexuality.
a minute of your time, a days worth of reflection
http://www.lime.com/balance/video/3918/deepak_chopra_on_sex_and_spirituality
a minute of your time, a days worth of reflection
http://www.lime.com/balance/video/3918/deepak_chopra_on_sex_and_spirituality
Why wouldn't I be into sex?
sex, the act itself can be wonderful, amazing and transcendant. Sex the topic is always fascinating.
Sex and sexual behavior has started wars, spawned cultures, spawned controversy, been a tool to assert control, been a tool to lose control, been repressed, been exaulted, been repressed again, enforced gender roles, blurred gender roles, influenced art, influenced laws, influenced religion, been a way to connect to the divine, been a way to sin against God, started families, destroyed families, been a supreme act of violence and control, been a supreme act of love and connection, been an act one might hardly recall; but it involved 4 shots, 5 beers and 1 bathroom in a bar.
How is that anything but interesting?
Sex and sexual behavior has started wars, spawned cultures, spawned controversy, been a tool to assert control, been a tool to lose control, been repressed, been exaulted, been repressed again, enforced gender roles, blurred gender roles, influenced art, influenced laws, influenced religion, been a way to connect to the divine, been a way to sin against God, started families, destroyed families, been a supreme act of violence and control, been a supreme act of love and connection, been an act one might hardly recall; but it involved 4 shots, 5 beers and 1 bathroom in a bar.
How is that anything but interesting?
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